Staring at your pictures...

Tonight I was able to stare at your handsome face and smile instead of cry. I may not be able to do the same tomorow, but I thank God for a wonderful day. I still can't believe you are gone, but now that you have walked hand in hand with Jesus I would never want to take you away. I miss you my sweet angel...but I love you enough to continue living the best way I know how...serving Jesus and looking forward to that day when we will meet again.

This November day...

It has been just a little over three months since my precious son Daniel passed away. I think of him almost continuously, but I have noticed that my thoughts are becoming less miserable than they were in the beginning. Initially, I could not stop thinking of how his cancer was diagnosed, that little lump on his wrist, it definately did not turn out to be quite so small at all. I remember how it all unraveled, it's like a nightmare that plays over and over again in my head. One minute he was a healthy strong young man 6ft.4in and weighed in at about 250 pounds, the next minute he was bald, vomiting and experiencing medical complications that no one would wish on their worse enemy, including low blood counts, bloody noses and even internal bleeding. He had amazing strength, and to this day I have no idea how he ever handled things in such a dignified way. My heart is broken, however I am truely interested in helping those of you that are suffering as I am. I want to give you a sounding board to let your soul cry out. This site is a place that no one will judge you for having a "bad" day, and you are allowed to grieve as long and as deeply as necessary. I want to be your friend, and I hope that you will be mine. There are no words to describe the void that we are left with when our children die, it's a place in your soul that until this happened you never knew existed. I may not know you, but because I have God in my heart, I already love you. This is not a "religious" blog, and I am not a counselor or a pastor. Feel free to vent but please keep it as clean as possible out of respect for others. I personally serve the Lord Jesus Christ, and he is my shelter from this storm, however I am not here to push anything other than love and compassion for one another.